Monday, December 11, 2006

How Sweet & A Chat Message (with Stories)

A few weeks ago, I was at Mid-Valley Megamall and on my way to the car, I spotted this car parked in front of mine... Iswara Aeroback...

Oh, look what's waiting in front of her car???
I'm 187% sure it was a lady's car... no?

Awwww... how schweet...

The chat below happened a coupla months ago about some encounters that I came across in London last September... something I had wanted to blog about but am not good at telling stories... so, read it from here, edited of course... but lemme warn you, it's a looooooong looooooong one...

little_angel_baby : after i came out fr the sex shop and walked abt 2 blocks.....
bond : you had a spontaneous orgasm?
little_angel_baby : got this liuliu Italian man approached me!!! or so he said he's italian and i wanted to PENGSAN
little_angel_baby : so skedddd
bond : approached you for sex?
little_angel_baby : yaaaa!!!!
bond : OMG
bond : waaaaaaaa
bond : so the liuliu
little_angel_baby : i didnt remember wat i mumbled
little_angel_baby : but i was so the sked
llittle_angel_baby : i kept walking and he kept walking in front of me facing me
little_angel_baby : and asked me why i no likes him
bond : I would have said £1000
little_angel_baby : HAHAHAHA
little_angel_baby : i said no tenkiu
little_angel_baby : hahaha liuliu anot
bond : and a dinner at Loong Foong
bond : very liuliu
bond : aiseh
bond : could have had 6 vibrators
little_angel_baby : actually inside the sex shop got another indian man tried to talk to me but i siam
little_angel_baby : it was really scary.
bond : dang!! These are horny men eh?
little_angel_baby : i dunno!!!
bond : I bet!!
little_angel_baby : actually the sex shop is downstairs
bond : i guess you were alone
little_angel_baby: ya
little_angel_baby : was on my own and they must hv thot that I am horny
bond : they prolly thought single young girl in a sex shop, sure pros
little_angel_baby : izit???
little_angel_baby : omg!
bond : prolly
little_angel_baby : why u din tell me earlier??
bond : well, I didnt know it would be like that! I never went up to a girl and asked her for sex
little_angel_baby : hahahahaha
bond : LOLOL, but now I know
little_angel_baby : after i finished checking out the stuff at the sex shop downstairs, i went upstairs to the "bookshop"
bond : so I'll go up to any girl I see near a sex shop and ask
little_angel_baby : i was looking at some books and this indian guy wanted to talk to me, i cepat2 went to the door
little_angel_baby : hahaha how u gonna ask?
bond : LOL, hoi, you could have had great sex!!! At the Ritz
little_angel_baby : but not with a scrawny indian guy!!! would u????
bond : I am just gonna say, nice shoes, wanna f*ck?
little_angel_baby : hahaha waaaa
little_angel_baby : so liuliu
bond : LOL, yeah, prolly got scrawny dick too
bond : but maybe he got pipe
little_angel_baby : and the italian guy oso kinda skinny.. look like drug addict *shudders*
bond : LOL
bond : naaa.. not a good idea to get picked up near a sex shop
little_angel_baby : yeah... but really, i wont dare go into a sex shop alone again
bond : no, you shouldn't
bond : take me along next time
little_angel_baby : and the best thing was, that was the ONE and only sex shop i found in Soho
bond : see? we went to the one at Mid valley.. no probs wat?
little_angel_baby : hahahaha
little_angel_baby : that was NOT a sex shop
bond : hmm, only one left?
little_angel_baby : i donno where they hid the rest
bond : LOL, you told me it was
bond : you bruff me
little_angel_baby : or maybe i was "lucky" that i didnt find the other sex shops
little_angel_baby : haha i bruff u ka?
little_angel_baby: *offers some salt*
bond : yeah, perhaps so.. there are some sex shops which are pretty decent and clean, not the seedy type
bond : Ann Summers or something
little_angel_baby : my fren said there are alot but prolly i didnt hit the right lane
little_angel_baby : ohhh yeah i went into Ann Summers and saw their toys
bond : prolly you took the wrong lane
little_angel_baby : more sexpensive
bond : LOLOLOLOL, that's why they are not the seedy type
little_angel_baby : hmmm ya hor... aiya how i know? i virgin maaa
bond : you pays what you gets
bond : LOL, me too
little_angel_baby : KAKAKAKAKAKA
bond : LOLOLOL
little_angel_baby : *toes laffing as well*
bond : as long as nipples not
little_angel_baby : nipples are for **censored**
bond : well, they can laff too
little_angel_baby : *donwan to know*
bond : they wobble when they do
little_angel_baby : hahaha
bond : see?
little_angel_baby : *sore jaws*
bond : go on, make them laff and check
little_angel_baby : i actually typed *saw jaws*
bond : LOLOLOL
bond : i would have tot why you go and watch Jaws
little_angel_baby : terrible my spelling
little_angel_baby : hahahaha
bond : hey, you're good
little_angel_baby : those 2 were scrawny guys, i hv not told u abt the FAT guy
bond : omg a fat guy too?
little_angel_baby : now, about the fat guy...
bond : ok, he wanted to lick your heels?
little_angel_baby : i bought coffee and a muffin at hyde park, wanted to sit down and enjoy makan
bond : uh huh
little_angel_baby : sat on a bench
bond : ooh i got a story too
bond : tell you afterwards
little_angel_baby : den saw this Arabic looking man
bond : listening...
bond : was he Saddam?
little_angel_baby : he was "eyeing" on me and i thot, die... the bench was so long and i was sitting there alone
little_angel_baby : haha no laaa
bond : LOLOLOL
little_angel_baby : i thot, sure he's gonna cum sit beside me
little_angel_baby : and he came near me, i already sat down, then he asked
little_angel_baby : "are u filipino?"
little_angel_baby : i said no
bond : hahaha, he must be feeling nostalgic for the filipino pros
little_angel_baby : i said i maraysian... so shit lah, why i dunno how to lie wan??
bond : LOLOLOL
little_angel_baby : then he said that i look like filipino and all and conveniently sat beside me
little_angel_baby : i was "busy" eating my muffin of cos
bond : pick up line, good good, must try that
little_angel_baby : then he tried to make small tok
little_angel_baby : hahahahaha
little_angel_baby : said that he's an egyptian, asked me wat i doing in london
little_angel_baby : i said i holiday blah blah
little_angel_baby : den he popped the question
bond : waaaaaaa..... so truthful wan
little_angel_baby : who? me ah?
bond : so accomodating too
bond : you lah
little_angel_baby : i dunno how to lie
little_angel_baby : very "cham"
bond : i would have said i want to be alone... bugger off
little_angel_baby : i dun dare leh...
little_angel_baby : if he stalk me, how??
bond : hahaha, guess not
little_angel_baby : i was alone
bond : true true
little_angel_baby : i dun dare to be nasty
little_angel_baby : so he asked if i'd like to stay long term in london
bond : well, you can be polite too, and just say you need to be alone
little_angel_baby : *pengsan*
bond : waaaaaa
little_angel_baby : he didnt look like he's gonna leave me alone
bond : hmmmm
little_angel_baby : i was so racing to finish my muffin and coffee
bond : LOL
little_angel_baby : i said no, i said i hv a life back home blah blah
little_angel_baby : he said everyone has a life back home
little_angel_baby : he said he oso got a life in egypt
little_angel_baby : and just divorce the wife
little_angel_baby : then he asked if i had a bf at home
bond : and wants you to be his next concubine?
little_angel_baby : of cos i said GOTTTT
little_angel_baby : but he maciam didnt wanna accept it
bond : aiyoh, at that stage can lie and say hubby coming soon
little_angel_baby : den he tried to coax me to stay in london
little_angel_baby : i told u, i donno how to lie!!!
bond : ok, ok, you need lessons
little_angel_baby : heh...
bond : are you a man?
little_angel_baby : errr...
little_angel_baby : errr...???
bond : trick question
little_angel_baby : see, now u know wat i mean?
bond : you say, yes
bond : LOL
little_angel_baby : but if he doesnt ask that question, how?
bond : ok, ok, then wat happened?
little_angel_baby : then he said he could "take care" of me and ask me to stay with him
bond : then you just tell him you had a sex operation
little_angel_baby : hahahahaha
little_angel_baby : u very clever lah u!
little_angel_baby : now oni u tell me!
bond : LOLOLOLOL thankQ
bond : i could have told you if you had asked
little_angel_baby : summore suggested that maybe we could meet up again the nxt day in the park to "discuss"
bond : LOL
little_angel_baby : wah lao... i really kecut my hati...
bond : not a bad option wat?
little_angel_baby : no way!!!
bond : can live in a nice place
little_angel_baby : he look like unker
bond : can come visit me
little_angel_baby: hahahaha
bond : waaaaaaaa
little_angel_baby : den he asked me how young i am
bond : just pull pillowcase over his head during sex
little_angel_baby : and stupid me of cos told the right age
little_angel_baby : hahahahaha
bond : LOL, yeah, tell him you're 11
little_angel_baby : but he so fattttt
little_angel_baby : got big big tummy liu...
bond : oops, can't fit him in a pillowcase then
bond : bigger than my tummy?
little_angel_baby : yaaaaaa!!!
little_angel_baby : many times bigger (Bigger than SA's too!)
bond : waaaaaa
bond : you'd be crushed
little_angel_baby : flat!
bond : ewwwwww
bond : cannot cannot
little_angel_baby : summore his face got alotta hair oso
bond : cheh, I tot nice egyptian, dark, handsome, rich
little_angel_baby : but he's the fair type
bond : ewwwwww
bond : anyway, i think all these men that try to pick up strange girls in parks, on the street... very dangerous too
little_angel_baby : anyway, that time, i think he just wanted sex
bond : could be pyscho too
little_angel_baby : oh... and that fat man was my 2nd experience
little_angel_baby : the first wan was on the 1st day i went to central london
bond : did he say how much he was gonna pay you?
little_angel_baby : no he din say
bond : no money no talk
little_angel_baby : shucks.. he wanted to f*ck for free?!
bond : well, more than likely he tot he was gonna get free f*ck
little_angel_baby : i think he was at the park looking for targets
bond : i guess so
little_angel_baby : that was what he was doing
bond : uh huh, maybe even a serial killer
little_angel_baby : after tat i faster2 finis my coffee n muffin and cabut
bond : you're lucky to be alive today!
little_angel_baby : haha yaaaa!!!
bond : and I am lucky you're alive to comment on my blog today
little_angel_baby : so scared he followed me
little_angel_baby : hehe... *show victory sign*
bond : LOLOLOL
bond : waaaaa
bond : ok, then?
little_angel_baby : then my first encounter
bond : uh huh
little_angel_baby : was with this liuliu guy at the Embankment
bond : you know, you should blog all this
little_angel_baby : haha
little_angel_baby : lazy
bond : LOLOLOL
little_angel_baby : donwan afturds ppl think i so narsisi
bond : lololol
bond : but we already are!!
little_angel_baby : so this guy, he's working for the Original Tour Bus co.
little_angel_baby : guess wat, indian guy
bond : ok
bond : another one??
little_angel_baby : but he's not too bad looking
bond : ok
little_angel_baby : he's like the ticket seller like dat
little_angel_baby : wear nice uniform and all
bond : looked like a geek, you mean?
little_angel_baby : no no
little_angel_baby : look like normal, no geeky
bond : ok, pity you didnt take pic
little_angel_baby : first time like dat, i couldnt think poperly laaaa
little_angel_baby : where got time to take pic summore??
bond : yeah, all quivery
little_angel_baby : i wanted to pay him cash for the ticket
bond : heart beat beat like drums
little_angel_baby : haha
little_angel_baby : den he said he no change
little_angel_baby : so he ask if i got card, so i gave him my credit card
bond : he was behind a counter or standing in front of you?
little_angel_baby : while waiting, he asked where i came from and all
little_angel_baby : he's standing in front of me
bond : no booth?
little_angel_baby : den he asked, wat i doing that nite
little_angel_baby : no booth
bond : waaaa
little_angel_baby : it's just a bus stop
bond : damn horny all these london ppl
little_angel_baby : den i got suspicious liao
bond : LOLO, oh BUS STOP!! I tot wat
little_angel_baby : i lied and said i hv dinner or sumthing
bond : see? you lied!!
little_angel_baby : yalah, bustop beside the river
little_angel_baby : yeah hor... i lied... but it's just a white lie
little_angel_baby : den he said he's free to accompany me worrr
bond : blatant lie la
little_angel_baby : i thot, shit
little_angel_baby : die liao... and he kept insisting that he's free that nite!
little_angel_baby: i said it's ok
bond : waaaa
little_angel_baby : i think i said many times "it's ok"
bond : but he's deaf
little_angel_baby : den summore he asked if i need his number
little_angel_baby : yaaa memang pekak wan
bond : uh huh
little_angel_baby : i said it's ok, it's ok
little_angel_baby : and the bus came, and i cabut
bond : LOLOL, potong stim
little_angel_baby : but u know what happened?
bond : he climbed on too?
little_angel_baby : i so sked that i forgot abt my c. card
bond : omg
little_angel_baby : i got on the bus, gave the ticket
bond : then?
little_angel_baby : BUT i was LIULIU LUCKY
bond : he gave it back
little_angel_baby : becos he faster2 gave me back my card
little_angel_baby : yaaa
bond : ahhh
little_angel_baby : really phewwwwww
little_angel_baby : at that point, i really cursed myself for being so careless
bond : yup, really mafan losing CC in foreign place
little_angel_baby : so, thank god he's not a complete baddie
bond : waaa, liuliu lucky liao
little_angel_baby : so yaloh... those were the London Encounters
bond : yeah, at least he was not a pyscho
little_angel_baby : heh... you lah nvr warn me abt all these
bond : hmmm, good adventures in a way
little_angel_baby : it was an experience
bond : well, how I know you so the attractive to Indians and Fat Egyptians?
little_angel_baby : hahahahahaha! yerrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!


Anonymous said...

now that's a long one(whatcha thinking abt?). frm the earlier part i guess u hv tolded me b4.


may said...

cheecheechupchup first!!!

may said...

ok, looooooong chat, hahahaha! but a good one! so any more hensem Egyptian men knocking at your door?...


and you said next year you might go Egypt for holiday?!! waaaaa!! make sure you bring some "Egyptian D.O.M. repellant" liao!! LOLOL!!

bond said...

niasing! Oi! Blog not like verbatim liao!!! LOLOL *ok ~ young young*... foo latt!

L B said...

OMG! Now you too will have 18 kids.

mistipurple said...

chup. 4th or 5th place, depending on anonymous.
nite nite i battery low oredy. (human)

Simple American said...

Did I find the end yet. *pants*

So did you take those flowers when you found them? Obviously they confuse the cars, ya?

Stupid guys will always get the wrong idea of a guy leaving sex shop. She must be easy.

Stick to Victoria Secrets from now on.

And tell those guys you need money for your Herpes Simplex X treatment.

Anonymous said... long post after so long missing....gero gero gero~~

ah nel said...

sikali no post no post...sikali post damn kao long wan...

nyonyapenang said...

help! gua mata crossed-eyes liao!

Anonymous said...

oh my gudness!! long till faint!

heheheh` go mid valley sex shop? for wad ah?? tsk tsk tsk hahaha not go eat sushi kar? :P

hehehhe` If it was the christmas hunk cocka posted in his site who came and approach you, it would be another different story, wouldn't it? kakakakka!! :X

ducky said...

way tooooooo longgggggggggg
stop at egyptian dude.
maybe should make part 1 and part 2 and part 3.

Anonymous said...

So liu-liu can die all these ENGLAND people.

Anonymous said...

So liu-liu can die all these ENGLAND people.

Chen said...

manyak panjang mia cerita..
i pengsan half way and then I bangun again :P
mata juling liao :D

L B said...

See, Chen? carcar?.. And you two thought I was the Cheong Hei wan?!!!

sengkor said...

now i need a new pair of specs.. all ur fault.. can claim back?

c o n s u e l a said...

hehehe...very long yet very interesing and funny :)

didn't even know Mid-Valley has such a shop (gasps)


_butt said...

Wasehhhhhhh... so de very looooong!!

Moral of the story: Never ever travel alone.

tired_man said...

Dear Angel

U sure lead a very adventurous life. :) Very risky though.... Better not be too honest with strangers, right ;)

And it sure is one really, really, really long blog!

may said...

*guinea pig running amok*

Winn said...

now i know wat's ur taste liao..

will keep a lookout for u.hah

carcar said...

i read untill midvalley...



carcar said...

lb, i suspect the bond is you loh...SO CHEONG HEI!~

Tiuniasing said...

it's sooooooo looooooooooooooooooooooooooong...

Anonymous said...

Why so chiong hei wan? Come back later and read.

L B said...

carcar, let's talk amongst ourselves now that angel's AWOL again with the Ticket Seller...

Bond?... I wanna see that movie liao!

Anonymous said...

Angel liu liu sinc when U hv followed Uncle to type lidat ah?? Sumore U say my stoli cheung hei ah!! I read and read and read not yet stop la!!! After readingd urs and uncle's I think I hv to go to the bed and rest my eye a bit liao!!! :P

carcar said...


Pink Cotton said...

WAH...can still do that in malaysia meh?

i mean put flowers in front of her car..hahhaahah...later got aunties walk pass and jsut steal the flowers..LOL

eeeyerrr so scary la the indian and the italian...they really so open meh???

angel said...

I'll be back here later...

angel said...

Dear molten-aiscream-comeback-boy,...
You very terer hor? Pratinum is Yours.

Did I tell you all the 3 stories? I forgot how much I let out to you that time...

Dear may,...
You mean Grolden Yao Char Kuai and Chee Chap Chuk? :P

No way! No more Egyptian man! But I forgot about the Egyptian holiday that I might go nxt year! Sei lorrrr... how? U think I hv to wear the scarf & everything?

Dear bond,...
Niama!!! Apa niasing?? :P I took your 'advice' and blogged about it wat... with lotsa editing... if u had noticed it... :P
*young* *young*


angel said...

Dear L B,...
Wot u mean 18 kids?
Tak mauuuu!!!!

Dear misti,...
*helps to recharge*

Dear Sir SA,...
Did ya' find the end?

No lah.. I didn't take the flowers... I'm shy... :P

Herpes Simplex?? Hahaha!! OMG! Then they'll gimme that dirty look! (pun intended)

Dear ah monk,...
Yeah... long post to make up for the missing days... geroooo!! :P

Dear ah nel,...
Tok so much... so u got read anot jek?

Dear nyonya,...
Lu mata ok liao bo?

Dear a^ben,...
U faint liao mehhh???

Go MV sex shop want to buy something for cocka wan... :P

Yes, if that Christmas hunk approach me, sure different story wan... :P


angel said...

Dear ducky,...
It was to compensate for my missing of nearly a week...

Dear titoki,...
Dem liuliu horny... NZ ppl not liddat?

Dear titoki,...
Dem liuliu horny... NZ ppl not liddat?

Dear lokter,...
Tomolo I'll check your mata and see if still juling anot...

Dear L B,...
So u saying i cheong hei, izit??

Dear sengkor,...
Submit your claim to my accountant. If he say can, then can...

Dear c o n s u e l a,...
Hehe... the one at MV sells very mild toys only...


Dear butty,...
Then I kenot go horiday?? How can??? Kenot...

Just gotta be careful and alert...

Dear tired_man,...
Nah... my life is not full of adventures la... strangers? U mean like Strangers In The Night? :D

Tho' it's a loooong blog, I'm sure u read it till the end, right? *wink*

Dear may,...
*tries to catch guinea pig*

Dear winn,...
*pull hair*

Dear carcar,...
Are you done till the end? :)

Dear ah tiu,...
I oredi warn youuuuuu..

Dear cocka,...
Cheong hei-ness sometimes can be entertaining oso... esp. if ppl are interested or kaypo about your life *LOL*

Dear L B,...
I'm always not far away... heh heh...

Dear wenwen,...
I dun hv folo unker wan... this wan is copy and paste oni... not i purposely write story wan ler... :P

Dear carcar,...
Dun sked, dun sked... I kicked that fella out liao ;)

Dear pink cotton,...
Kakaka! I dun think anyone dare to take the flower lor... mana tau ada bom... har...

Yeah, their mind so open until they fly oso they wanna open! Sheesh!


Anonymous said...

*Helps angel and may catch guinea pig*

I learn something new today....

*faster go MidValley NOT to look for that shop* ;)

angel said...

Dear plink,...
Errr... ekcerli hor... I am the guinea pig here lar... haha :P

Then u go MV to do wat leh??