Since in the previous entry, we talked about Infidelity, today I found an interesting entry @
VioletLim.com. Oh, who is Violet, you asked? She's the co-founder of
Lunch Actually, Asia's first lunch dating company
;-) Anyone interested? Can go try! Kinda like DinnerForSix but it's lunch. Nope, I have not tried it. I need meh?? :P
Violet wrote about
Love, In Theory. She found a theory by
Robert Stemberg, who is a psychologist and a psychometrician (wah, sounds very terror!). He came out with the
Triangular Theory of Love, which is pretty insightful.
Lemme copy the whole thing from wikipedia
lah!
The three components, pictorially labeled on the vertices of a triangle, interact with each other and with the actions they produce and with the actions that produce them so as to form seven different kinds of love experiences (nonlove is not represented). The size of the triangle functions to represent the amount of love - the bigger the triangle the greater the love. The shape of the triangle functions to represent the kind of love, which may vary over the course of the relationship: - Nonlove is the absence of all three of Sternberg's components of love.
- Liking/friendship in this case is not used in a trivial sense. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bondedness, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment.
- Infatuated love is often what is felt as "love at first sight". But without the intimacy and the commitment components of love, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.
- Empty love: Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love, in which the commitment remains, but the intimacy and passion have died. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships often begin as empty love and develop into one of the other forms with the passing of time.
- Romantic love: Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally through intimacy and physically through passionate arousal.
- Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. Sexual or physical desire is not an element of companionate love. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship but a deep affection and commitment remain. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship.
- Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.
- Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple”. According to Sternberg, such couples will continue to have great sex fifteen years or more into the relationship, they can not imagine themselves happy over the long term with anyone else, they weather their few storms gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other.[1] However, Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die" (1987, p.341). Thus, consummate love may not be permanent. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love.
Itulah dia... too complicated to comprehend? Never mind! I copy part of Violet's entry for you also!
Passion, Intimacy and Commitment, in no particular order. He describes passion as physical and sexual attraction. Intimacy is the closeness and the connection, especially in communication. And commitment is easiest describe as marriage. And the strongest relationship is a relationship where all these aspects grow at the same rate like an equilateral triangle.
If there is only passion, that is called infatuation.
If there is only intimacy, that is called friendship.
If there is only commitment, that is called empty love.
If there is passion and intimacy, but no commitment, that is romantic love.
If there is passion and commitment, but no intimacy, that is fatuous love.
If there is intimacy and commitment, but no passion, that is companionate love.
If there is passion, intimacy and commitment, that is the most ideal of love… consummate love. :)
Many marriages, as time goes by, end up in ‘empty love’ as the passion is gone, and the intimacy too wanes. And the only thing holding the marriage together is the commitment.
Or in other marriages, the passion is there… but there is no communication. The couple simply does not grow together, and their paths hardly converge.
All the best to you, you and you!
At first, not many fishy came...
there were 2 other people sitting around the 'pool' with me.And yesterday, my First Experience @ the Fish Spa... I didn't go to the 'popular' one @ Pavilion. I went to this Sampuoton Fish Spa at Merchant Square, somewhere near Tropicana. Saw this spa when passing by NKVE and told myself, die-die oso must try.. at least once... What's iVerdict you asked?
Ya Allah! OMG! Cinders and Ashes! I cannot
tahan!!! It's way way WAY too
geli, too ticklish for moi! And I paid RM60 for those fish to tickle my soles for half an hour.. Yes, the rate is much higher than the one @ Pavilion, I believe... And to think they have treatment for the whole body also for RM150... gosh, no way, Jose!!
