Thursday, June 08, 2006

Lin Dynasty Chapter 35

Okay, OrgasmLiu has to make way for this *&^%$#@!!! Lin Peh's I is The Author projek. I have totally no idea how the story is gonna continue from here, so here goes nothing...

Oh yeah, this is actually a 060606 birdday pressie from a horny Dr. Chen from Penang. This doctor dunno which hospital/clinic she work, very free wan. Always go and chup First Place at people's blog. But since I don't wanna be forfeited or asked to make a yamade homevideo with LinPeh, I better continue the saga... first attempt last night, I ended up FAAK (ei, wat bad word?! Fall Asleep At Keyboard larrr!! LOL!). Yes, literally fell liuzzzzz on my notebook on the bed with the lights on. Liuliuliu...

All previous chapters can be found at this BoredWorkers' place. Last paragraph from episode 34 by the Doc was this...

Suddenly he was woke up by the Kookookooooo sound (who else? By the ayam nearby). He rubbed his eyes & noticed he was sleeping on the floor, hugging a bolster with saliva dripping onthe floor.. He tried to recall back what had actually happened.. Was that just merely a dream? a nightmare? Where is his beloved Carrot????
**********

Chapter 35

Phrestomasi was L.O.S.T. He couldn't figure out what the hell happened but of course since he was all wet, from top to toe, he thought, it must be a damn syiok dream. Wet dream, what do you sexpect?

He jumped out of the bed with only his red, silk boxer shorts. Yes yes, of course can see the Bulge! What kinda question is that?! He reached for a batang of Philip Morris Light and the lighter.
He walked out of the tent and started puffing away. The sky was still pretty dark and there was a slight breeze. Dunno which kookoo bird ter-kookoo-ed wrong time because the Sun was still not up yet! Blardy hell, he murmured a soft curse.
After a few puffs, Phrestomasi decided to go for a jog since he couldn't go back to sleep again. Still in his silk boxers, he put on a black sleeveless-T, jogging shoes, grabbed his big Ai-did-it-ass pouch together with his black iPod nano on the chair and left the tent.
*jog jog jog jog*
Suddenly, you know what happened? It was still pretty dark and Phrestomasi didn't see that Big Black Hole in front of him! It was literally a Black Hole (okay, it's like a Worm Hole like in the sci-fi story, Farscape, and no, I'm not a sci-fi fan. I just happened to watch one whole season of this series a few years back.) So, this is not really a Worm Hole because Worm Holes are shortcuts through space & time. The one that's in front of Phrestomasi is a Man Hole and this Man Hole is a shortcut through what? Yes... shortcut through Time, like a Time Tunnel.
So, as sexpected, our hero, while jogging and enjoying his music in the dark, fell into the Man Hole. Somehow, from then on, things happened in slow motion. Yes, Phrestomasi fell into the hole in slow-mo. He thought, "Shit... This is it. I'm gone." At this point, he started having flashbacks...
*Moan...ahhh....moan...groan...oooohhh...faster...faster...moan...moan...*
He couldn't see who was doing it to him. All he could see was a big bottom facing him, and my oh my, it's solid alright... Well, did he really care who was doing it! Of course not! He was enjoying all the syiokness that he could get.
Uik... wait a minute...
*Groan...groan...aaaaahhh....ooooohhhh... oi, faster! Ahhhh...oooohhh...yeahhhh...*
Who's that? KNN... another man's voice?! Ei, wait... what is his hand doing up and down, up and down???
He turned his head to the right and had the shock of his life. He was holding a Big & Hard kkc in his right hand! And obviously that kkc is not his because someone had his in her mouth! *nearly pengsan*
Before he had the time to react, the lady turned over to face him and gave him a naughty smirk. She had the look of a Shanghainese whore. OMG!!! He knows her!!! She's none other than his Untie Helen! When he was 16 years old, he stayed with the 30 year old Untie Helen, the Kamasutra Queen. No one else had as much knowledge as her when it comes to Kamasutra. Dammit, she could even blog a few sentences in the midst of a Hot Session. Just need to do a few sommersaults every now and then. Yeah, she's THAT good...
So, now we know, Phrestomasi is actually the legendary Lin Peh from the Lin Go Tong family. As storied in the earlier chapters, we know that Lin Peh is actually not Lin Go Tong's biological son. He is actually the seed of Untie Helen and the Lin family's chauffer, Ah Pek! OMG, his AhMa is playing with his kkc! But you think he cared? Of course not...
Errr, chup! So, whose kkc is HE playing with???
Slowly, Lin Peh turned to look. Somehow, he was very afraid to know whose kkc is in his hands. His gaze went from the Big Hard kkc to the hairy chest, and then to the face.
He nearly wanted to pengsan.
Because it was none other than his AhPa, the Ah Pek!

**********

Okay, kautim. I'm so damn hungry now! Inevitable, you're writing Chapter 36! You have 72 hours to come out with more juice, if not, nanti kena yamade by some Big KKC forfeited here, dun come to angel and cry, okay? :P

64 comments:

sengkor said...

gold? lin dynasty still running?

ducky said...

can this be true, i'm the first one to comment. pray pray pray.

sengkor said...

sorry ducky, beat u by 9 seconds.. hahaha

may said...

chups-a-daisy!

may said...

waaaaa!! so the hamsapdrama wei! but 'tis good... goooooood... glad you brought it back to basics, hahaha! linpeh would be proud! (but not of the kkc bit...)

ducky said...

never mind, didnt want to come out with a 1 liner. somemore this is your 1st platinum, keong-hee keong-hee, sengkor.

ducky said...

never followed this drama before, so they doing the incest thinglah, (vomit, vomit, vomit) lucky you give to inevitable. inevitble i know you read this, please give to someone else, thank you.

zeroimpact said...

Never would have imagined it turning this way lol
A very surprising yet intruging twist I may say
liu
heh heh heh

may said...

*peeks around*

where are the playmates?

*fiddles with angel's halo*

sengkor said...

*waving*

may! over here, swing me the halo..

angel said...

Dear sengkor...

Woohoo!!! Here, the first commentator gets The Pratinum!!!
Congrats! Never sexpect u to be the 1st here LOL!

angel said...

Dear ducky...

Awww...Grold for you today... but quite impressive oso since u said your Stimix is stim-ed...

angel said...

Dear sengkor again...

LOL! Kancheong! If ducky din pray 3 times, maybe.....

angel said...

Dear lil'missmay...

Srilver daisy chupped! ;)

angel said...

Dear lil'missmay again...

Haha! U thinks is good? I spent some time reading (again!) chapters 1-10 last nite before I FAAK. LOL! And like u, had to draw the screwed up Lin Family Tree! LOL! So the screwed! :P

Hamsap meh? Not very mahh... :P

plink said...

Like this also can?!?!

Wahliuliuliuweh! Lin Dynasty back to (ab)normal again ar?

angel said...

Dear ducky again...

Awwww...how sweet... so tai leong you...

But if u din pray 3x, maybe u'll get your what, 3rd or 4th pratinum for the month...liuliuliu...

angel said...

Dear ducky again...

I also nvr follow after chapter 10-11. All dunno become how oredi. So, like what I told May, last nite i spent some time reading the original Lin Dynasty and decided to 'bring back' some of the important characters.

angel said...

Dear zeroimpact...

Hoho! Liuliuliu!!! Hope you enjoyed it. We always aim to please...

angel said...

Dear lil'missmay...

*lights up upon seeing PlaymateMay*

Eeeek! Kacaus my blink-blink Halo ahhh... :P
Dunno where all the playmates gone... maybe went to Italys liao...

angel said...

Dear sengkorrrr...

Your name so nice to call lah... and very easy to 'teh' also... LOL!

Liuliuliu... gib me back my Halo :P Eee... kam suei geh lei...

angel said...

Dear plink-a-baby...

Liuliuliu!!! LOL! Why like this kenot?? :P

*nod nod*

We are back in business! ;)

Chen said...

*pengsan*
hahhaha... I know u will come up with, LOL

btw, I'm not very free lah..
sometime I'm on leave or not working, that's why I'm "free" during those time, kekekke...

Anonymous said...

hey there. sawat deeee kap.

xaa

angel said...

dear Dr. Chen...

*so happies see the doc*

Oh no no... dun pengliu! winnliuliu!!! where are u??? doctor pengliu liao, arn cua???

LOL! i know la doc... of cos u not so free all the time... i just wanna kacaus liu abit nia... dun angry okays? *muak*

angel said...

Dear aa...

Sawadee kaaaaaa!!!

Where's my burpday pressie? Jangan asyik NATO la, boleh tak?

Winn said...

Liuliuliu! adult story! HAHAH..so many kkcs!! funny la!

must have taken u sleepless nite to think of the plot eh zombieliu??
hahaha..

but har, this dynasty lin story really kena liued kau kau already..i pity those who kena tag..no i dowan to do any story tag anymore. too much effort.

angel said...

Dear winnliuliu...

Liuliuliu!!! Actually hor, i didnt think of the plot until when i started typing earlier today. Plotless liu... just liu as i type... damn liuliuliu i tells u...

LOLIULIU! U likes kkcs? Liuliuliu!

Like wat u told Doc earlier, once start writing, won't be so liuliu oredi... LOL! I also donwanna do story tag again! Liuliuliu!

Winn said...

ok SET! we nevers gonna liu story tag again!!

We do..one-liner story tag ok?
like for example, i start with
"one day, angeliu go to the mamak and order one fried kkc kurang manis" . period

u continue..:p

Anonymous said...

huh?

anyway, gotta go now. u b good.

xaa

if u label me NATo, NATo lor, i no hal. lol.

Simple American said...

Wah! Who wrote dis? *Pengsan*

L B said...

Lemme just liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu , and fall over liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu , and roll inside liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu, and start liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu , and have a liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu , when everything is liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu , over liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu , and stop liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu liu !! Ahhh, better now!! LIULIU..

L B said...

Did I just now sound a bit like Woodstock? Liuliu!!

angel said...

Dear winnliuliu

Liu! No more story tag again!
*make pinky promise*

LOLOLIULIU! U really liuliu! I'll continue @ your place :P

plink said...

* prints out Lin Dynasty *
* sits down with Lin Dynasty plus cup of tea *

*cup of tea overturns *

angel said...

Dear aa...

Huh huh?? I'm always good...

U NATO TOMATO. :P

angel said...

Dear SirSimpleAmerican...

Oh no! Not another pengsan case! Dammit...they are falling like flies!

Doctor Chennnnnnnnnnn!!!

angel said...

Dear LiuBee...

Wahahahahahahahahahahha!!!! angeliu's eyes got hypnotised seeing all the liulius @_@

U sure u are better after all the liu-ings? Can I do anything to helps?

angel said...

Dear LiuBee...

Woodstock the festival? LOLOL! Yeah! Very the arty! ;)

Gimme more! Gimme more! Liuliuliu!

angel said...

Dear plink-a-baby...

Aiyo...so lun cun wannn...

*brings a mop*
*takes plink to the otearai* (jamban lah)
*use hair-dryer to blow-dry baju*
*pours another cup of Earl Grey for plink*
*calls the reflexologist*

Enjoy yourself, ma'am.

L B said...

No lah!! Woodstock from Peanuts, and Charlie Brown, and Snoopy!!! Liuliuliuliu liu liu liu liu liu? !!!! !!!!!! !!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! !...

angel said...

Dear LiuBee...

Liuliuliuliu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lil' ciao maaa... insignificant... liuliuliu!!!

Winn said...

Angeliuna Jolie: ;p

One liner story tag continues here:
"one day, angeliu go to the mamak and order one fried kkc kurang manis. she also ordered one big lembu ciao masak kari for her liuliu fren, winnliuliu.But too bad winliuliu ffk her, thats why she has to stuff herself with the oredi ordered kkc kurang manis and lembu ciao masak kari all alone."

Fantasy "Sticky" Flier said...

WAH!!!!
OMG!!!!
This one longer than Man in the Net series, not bad Chap 34 liao...
Angeliuliuliu, how comez you znot in z chaptzer? ;)

Fantasy "Sticky" Flier said...

oops forgot to say.....
damn good story!!!!

angel said...

Dear winnliuliu...

Liuliuliu! Change name again?? LOL! Farnies! But, I donwan babies worrr... liuliuliu!

Continue at your place laters :P

angel said...

Dear Flyboy...

LOLZ! Man in the Net?! Hahaha! Didn't think YOU'd hv watched the drama! LOL.. That was donkey years ago! Liuliuliu!

I notz in z chapterz coz I kenots decidez wat characterz i wantz to playz... liuliu... :P

angel said...

Dear Flyboy...

Goodz?
*pai seh*

Thank you, liuliuliu...

Chen said...

LOL at winn's latest comment regarding the story tag :D

ka..t said...

I came, I read..the first 8 paragraphs....*eyes glaze over....hops to kitchen for a cup of java...*...try as I might, I cannot go beyond paragraph 8...nothing to do with your writing skills..it's just not as colourful (literally) as your previous posts...mebbe some pictures?? *imagination going into overdrive with images of helen, linpeh, ahpek and black holes..*

plink said...

*readread Lin Dynasty*
*O_O @ Chapter 35*
*O.O as reflexologist straightens chi channels*
*O.O even more at ka..t's vivid imagination*

angel said...

Dear Dr. Chen...

Liuliuliu! Continuation of the liuliu tag, pls. proceed to winnliuliu's cicak corner... liuliuliu!

angel said...

Dear ka..t...

LOL! Soli lar... tis assignment was done under tremendous pressure, so no time for pics :P

Maybe a change of template could do some good to the eyes?

angel said...

Dear plink-a-baby...

What big eyes you have...

*calls in the beautician to do eye treatment*

Anything else u might need, ma'am? ^.^

Winn said...

why is there no DYK this timme? u shld say DYK i'm so not gona liu another story tag ?

ONe-liner's for exception.! liuliuliu!:p

angel said...

Dear winnliuliu...

Just for you my dear, I'll have TWO DYKs for the nxt post, okays? *muaks*

Fantasy "Sticky" Flier said...

aiseh...
you always hungry after doing wan ah?
*scampers off*

Cocka Doodle said...

Fooyoh! I never knew you are capable of this! **fell off chair** LOL
Nice chapter!

Inevitable said...

^$^%)*^&^$#@^&$&^%*%^%#%&%&%^!@#$%^&*(*&^%$
Tiu. Just realized I am next on the line... and it is already the 10th...

angel said...

Dear Flyboy...

Huh??? Oi! Wat tok u??
I hungry after doing? Errrmmm... no ah... :P

angel said...

Dear cocka...

*helps cocka up*
*rubs rubs the butt a bit*

Sit properly lar...

You didn't know? Heh heh... nolah, that wasn't angel writing...that's devil... :P

angel said...

Dear inevitable...

LOLOLOLOL!!!
Liu! You can write wan... I know... and your chapter 36 was *orgasmic*! :P

Lin Peh said...

WOW ! Finally.....

angel said...

Dear lin peh...

Phewww... luckies u din liu me... so sked u'd cum and liu-9 me... :P

angeliu hopes that lin peh is pleased... *paiseh*