Friday, October 12, 2007

外婆, 一路顺风


I just exchanged a few Facebook messages with Sis, telling her that I feel sadder for our Mom because she lost her Mother... because one day, all of us will have to go through this...


Sighhhh... sometimes I have very morbid thoughts... when I was a lil' girl, probably around 5-6 years old, I began to understand the concept of death. There were some periods of time whereby I was so afraid of death, that I kept thinking about it, about how death is gonna feel like (and I used to cry myself to sleep because I couldn't bear the thought of me, dying...), about losing the people I love etc. and that caused me sleepless nights. Yes, I started having morbid thoughts since that young... but thank god I grew out of it... or did I?

Thanks for all the FB messages, SMS-es & phone call...

44 comments:

may said...

my deepest condolences to you and your loved ones on your loss, angel darling. safe travels back to Penang, ya? take care now.

yea I used to have those morbid thoughts about death too, losing the people around us. I haven't outgrown it, but I've learned not to dwell in it too much... or have I? oh dear!

*HUGS* to you...

L B said...

It never hit me until the passing away of my mum suddenly... That was when I realized that the only person who loved me unconditionally was gone.

*YOUNG**YOUNG*

Hugs for you!! *peeps under skirt, for good luck*

angel said...

Dear maymay,
Thanks, thanks, thanks :)

Let's say NO to Morbid Thoughts, aye?

*Hugged*

**********
Dear L B,
You must have felt very 'sum tong'(心痛) that time :( Can I back-hug you now? Because I wasn't around to hug you last time... Or better still, I'll Moolah Hug you, ok?

LB, under my skirt, I no wear..........

But thanks! :)

**********

sheon said...

your por por and my gramps and granma are in a better place! :)

too much details on your skirt thingy....ooopsie...

Jemima said...

My Sincere Condolences to you & your family.

May your Por Por rest in peace.

*HUGS HUGS*

Winn said...

dear angel...i too have the same tot. now sometiems whenever i look at my dad growing old i feel like crying. i'm afraid one day he'd leave us before i even have the chance to say goodbye.
and recently i keep having this images (of him ...in the..u knw wat) in my mind...i guess this image will remind me to appreciate my family when they are still here with us..

take care yaaaaa....
i oredi told my por por to take of your porpor.

ehon said...

SUPER DUPER GIGANTIC HUG!!

I'm so so sorry to hear that, Angel.. Condolences to you and your family. But for every loss, there's a lesson to be learned and wherever your nanna is now, I'm pretty sure she wishes the best for you and the family. :)

No one ever get immune or resistant to death. Every loss is a different kind of pain. But over time, it becomes bearable. :)

Take care!!

Firehorse said...

Deepest condolences to you and your family angel dear, come here let me give you some hugs before you go home. *Hugs*

Selba said...

My condolence to you and your family. *hugs*

I experienced the same thing like you when I was a little girl. I was so afraid that my dad will die so I even prayed to God, in case if He is going to take my dad, please take him when I already reach my age at least 27 or 28 years old. (I was around 7 or 8 years that time) but then God has different plan. He took my dad earlier... it's when I just turned to be 18 years old.

narrowband said...

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family :(

I used to have some morbid thoughts on and off too... but I try not to think about it and get out of those thoughts ASAP! ;)

Huei said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family.
I hate it how people have to leave, i was afraid of loosing my loved ones when i was young..but who knows..my fear came true when my dad left =(

but..they're at a better place now..one where there's no such thing as racism and crime =)

mama bok said...

My deepest condolences to you and yours. I hope you find comfort that your grandma is in a better place.

mistipurple said...

my deepest condolences to you and your family. take care and take quick naps when you can, dear angel. can be very draining these few days.

Will said...

my condolences...
*hugs*

Chen said...

Sorry to hear that, Angel.
My deepest condolence to u and your family. May your grandma rest in peace. Take care woh..

*hugs*

rinnah said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family on the demise of your porpor, angel. *big hugs*

angel said...

Dear sheon,
Yups... I believe that too, thanks. :)

Oops... you saw too? :p

**********
Dear jemima,
Thanks :)

**********
Dear winn,
When I read what you wrote this morning, I also feel like crying... but I just woke up that time, so, still blur blur...

Thanks for asking your por por to take care of mine... hope she's not gonna be lonely there... :(

**********
Dear ehon,
Thanks for the gigantic hugs and the words of wisdom...

*squashed*

**********
Dear firehorse,
Thanks, kopi soh...

**********
Dear selba,
Thanks...

I also back-hug you, ok? Becos donno what else to say... sigh...

**********
Dear narrowband,
Thanks...

You also have these thoughts? Yeah, better dun think... think liao can khi siao...

**********
Dear ah huei,
Thanks...

I dunno what to say to make you feel better but yeah, your father is now in a better place... :)

**********
Dear mama bok,
Hello... welcome, welcome... thanks for the comment... it was a pleasant surprise to see you :)

I hope so too that she is in a better place... thanks again :)

**********
Dear misti,
Thanks... I'm now already having pictures in my mind of what's gonna happen in the next few days... :(

**********
Dear will,
Thanks...

**********
Dear chen,
Thanks... I will :)

**********

angel said...

Dear rinnah,
Oops.. missed your comment...

Thanks :)

Aodian said...

I never been able to accept death really... I just have so much of a fear that just like you I would cry myself to sleep.. But that was a decade ago when I was around 5 to 6.. Still am afraid of death and what awaits on the other side but then again I believe that there's a light to guide me there.. Condolences to you and your family.. Letting go is never easy.. God Bless

Anonymous said...

yeah, this is something all of us need to go thru. guess we hv to cheerish those around us now more than ever....my sincere and deeepest condolence!!!!

ktx

Aiyah Nonya said...

I am so sorry to hear this. You have my deepest condolence.

nyonyapenang said...

Hi Angel,

My condolences to your family. May your Por-Por rest in peace.

Take care, Angel.

kyh said...

aiks! wat a sad news! my deepest condolences my dear... be strong! it's part of our life cycle... :)

eastcoastlife said...

Our condolences to you and your loved ones.
ECL and Christopher Tan

I have morbid thoughts all the time. I'm so scared of dying and leaving my son.....

laundryamah said...

my condolences to you n your family..

death can b a scary thing but knowing that the deceased are no longer suffering from any sicknesses is comforting.. we all know that our days here are numbered and we have to leave one day..so enjoy every moment of it and grasp the moment! "chan sik ngan chin yan.." Big hugz to ya!

Monk[+]Icon said...

God bless... *hugs*

Cocka Doodle said...

My condolences to you and your family, angel dear.

Death is inevitably part of our lives. Celebrate the living and make it so beautiful that it's worth remembering. *hugs*

Kenny Ng said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

That's part of life, I understand how fear is the feeling, I was almost there before. Be blessed of we are still living, death is just a another beginning of another journey of life.

Bernard said...

Deepest condolences to you family and you, Angel.

kat said...

Hi dear. My condolences to you and your family. Are you alright now? I get sad when I am reminded how far away I am from my parents. My morbid thoughts now are of not getting home in time to them before they go.. :(

*big sayang hugs to the sweet sad angel*

_butt said...

it's ok angel, don't lose that feeling, it's what make us human anyway. but don't linger on it either for too long. hugs and deepest condolences to you and family, Angel. take care ya...

zewt said...

looks like there's a lot of death this week...


my condolences to you.

Oscar's Mommy said...

my condolences to you and yr family.

*hugs* hope you are better now.

dreamie said...

Angel dear, Am so sorry for your loss of your grandma.
Plse accept my deepest condolences.
May your grandma rest in peace.

Take good care ya ... *hugs*

conan_cat said...

all my condolences to your granny, angel...

and death is really, really not easy to handle. i sometimes think too how will i handle death... death happened to me only years ago when my grandmother passed away, and memories of her began to fade. if death happened to me now, when i'm more matured and able to think, i guess i will be much more emotional than then.

Leonard said...

my deepest condolences to you and your family.

after reading this post, i reflect on it and feel scared on death!

PonGLanD said...

my deepest condolences to you and your family.....

take care ya:D

Anonymous said...

Hi there...

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

May your grandma rest in peace.

Sigh...this a part n parcel of our life...something we've to bring ourselves to deal with : (

And, for the bad boy that I've been for stayin' away for so long, every time i call my dad, he reminds me of this harsh reality of life in his very own ways : (

Take care dear.
~hugz~

M

Pink Cotton said...

aww...hugssss

deepeest condolences to you...

its during times of demise that we think a lot about death rite?

i used to worry abt death too..whats it gonna be like how will it happen when it will happen...but then ... no one really knows...

U.Lee said...

Hi Angel, regret read of your grandma's passing away. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
The history of our grandparents is remembered not with rose petals but in the laughter and tears of their children and their children's children. It is into us that the lives of grandparents have gone. It is in us that their history becomes a future.
May she rest in peace.
You keep well, Angel, best regards, UL.

ZAM said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma's passing. I hope everyone in your family-esp your mother is coping well.

When I was younger, maybe 10 or so, I too had sleepless nights thinking about death.. But I'm glad I'm over it now.

angel said...

Dear aodian,...
Thanks for the wishes...

Looks like I'm not abnormal :) Let us live life to the fullest for now, ok?

**********
Dear ktx,...
Thanks... So... you shouldn't be working too hard all the time, yeah? Spend time with whoever is important to you...

**********
Dear aiyah nonya,...
Thanks. Life's ups & downs...

**********
Dear nyonyapenang,...
Thanks, I'm sure she's resting in peace...

**********
Dear kyh,...
Thanks, Brad honey :p

I am strong, I think... :)

**********
Dear eastcoastlife,...
Thanks, also to Chris...

I think I'll have more morbid thoughts if I had a child...

**********
Dear laundryamah,...
Thanks...

Wah... I really like and appreciate your words of wisdom :)

**********
Dear ah monk,...
Tima kasih...

**********
Dear cocka,...
Thank you...

I 'celebrate' everyday... but how would I remember anything when I'm 6 feet underground? :(

**********
Dear kenny ng,...
Thanks...

Sometimes I really wonder if we knew that we are already dead after death...

**********
Dear bernard,...
Thanks, doc...

**********
Dear kat,...
Thanks, I'm a-ok :)

I understand your morbid thoughts... I also have quite the same too... how how?? Whatever it is, we must make sure we have no regrets, yeah? *hugs*

**********
Dear butty,...
Thanks...

The feeling will surface each time death befalls someone we know...

**********
Dear zewt,...
Thanks..

Actually, I think deaths happen everyday... it's just that we don't know those people...

**********
Dear oscar's mommy,...

Thanks, everything is fine :)

**********
Dear dreamie,...
Thanks... I'm sure my porpor is resting in peace now...

**********
Dear conancat,...
Thanks...

I suppose it's not easy to accept the death of a person we know, be it a family or friend. I can say that I'm not the emotional type (Does that make me a heartless person, I wonder...) who'll cry at funerals etc. but the other day, I found myself tearing automatically during some quiet moments... I didn't understand why that happened...

**********
Dear leonard,...
Thanks...

But aiks... sorry, din mean to make you feel scared... :(

**********
Dear pongdee,...
Thanks...

**********
Dear M,...
Thanks... and for those words of wisdom too :)

Hey, about time to make a trip back to see dad, huh?

**********
Dear pink cotton,...
Thanks :)

Yup, we only have all these morbid thoughts whenever someone we know has kicked the bucket... sienz...

**********
Dear U.Lee,...
Thanks...

Very true words there, UL... thank you again...

**********
Dear ZAM,...
Thanks... I think everyone is coping okay... but then, we'll never know... esp. during those quiet moments when the mind is thinking...

I'm glad you are over that morbid thoughts phase too :)

**********

JL said...

terlambat liao... better late than never... my deepest condolence.

angel said...

Thanks JL... :)